Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Want Kids? Be Prepared.

Want kids? Prepare for stupidity!!! I’m not talking about dealing with ignorant kids either. I’m talking about your stupidity. A typical interaction between me and the McD’s guy before kids went something like, “Can I take your order?” “Yes. I’ll have the Double ¼ pounder w/ cheese meal, no pickles, Sprite to drink please, and I don’t want it super sized.” I knew exactly what I wanted, and I answered any questions he might have about the order before he asked them. Fast forward to three children later, this is a typical interaction between me and the McD’s guy: “Can I take your order?” “Uhm… Hold on a minute… OK, I want a Double ¼ pounder meal, 3 chicken nugget Happy Meals…” “What do you want to drink w/ the double ¼ pounder meal?” “I said with cheese right?” “Oh ok, sir. What to drink with that?” “Sprite for the kids meals… can you read that back?” “I got a Double ¼ pounder meal with cheese, 3 chicken nugget happy meals with sprite to drink for the kids, and what would you like to drink?” “And no pickles on the Quarter pounder, er no, Double.. I said double, right? Double quarter pounder with cheese, but no pickles, and that should be it.” “Yes sir. And what do you want to drink?” “Well I ordered the meal. That comes with a drink, right?” “Yes sir. What KIND of drink would you like, sir?” “Sprite for all of us please.” It’s not like the menu’s changed. It’s not the acne-fied 15 year-old across the counter that’s changed. That leaves me. I’m now dumb (or dumber, depending on whom you ask). The kids are 100% worth it, I’m just letting you know. You’ll get dumber with each kid. As they get older, though, I’m regaining some of my smarts, but losing some of my hair. Once they’re here, everything’s a trade-off. **SIDENOTE: Jennifer, my lovely bride, just read this. She wanted me to mention that the only side-effect she’s “suffered” is the glow of motherhood, which has only served to make her more beautiful. **


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to agree. I just bought one of those nifty new Temporal Thermometers to check my childs temp. I ripped open the package, tested it on my kid since I was thinking he was running a temp and got a temp of about 96.3. So, I tried on my husband-about the same, so I went ahead and tried on myself and again, about the same reading. Of course, I tried again and again and again on all of us, thinking that one of these times I would get an accurate reading as stated on the box, but nope.. I thought, boy am I a sucker for buying this piece of crap. So the next day, I thought I would try again and I got 97.2 this time. Hmm, after re-checking the package to make sure I am doing it right, I realized I still had the cap on the damn thing.

9:59 PM  

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