Thursday, July 08, 2004

Roast anyone???

How many of you have performed at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts? Because I have. Sure it was 8-9 years ago, but I have... Did I mention that it was a starring role? Alright, alright… so I was going to use that as an excuse for my behavior in the story I’m about to tell, but truth of the matter is that I’ve always been a bit cocky. I can hear you now, “Not you, dude… You’re so cool.” Yeah I know, but we all have lapses. I was in a show called ‘Stand-Up Tragedy’. ‘Stand-Up’ held the record for most attendance at Quad C Theatre for about 5 years. I didn’t even know that it held such a record until ‘Gypsy’. ‘Gypsy’ is the show that broke our record for attendance. I happened to be in attendance the closing Saturday evening performance that it broke our record… and the Producing Director/Artistic Director for the theatre let everyone know that ‘I was in the house’. Keep in mind this was ‘Gypsy’, a pretty big production. As I recall, there were roughly 60-70 people in the company (including technicians). After the show we’re backstage doing the whole, “Good show”, “Nice job”, “I really enjoyed the show” stuff. NOBODY was interested in what I thought of the show so much as they felt inclined to let me know that they broke the ‘Stand-Up’ record. I DID NOT CARE!!! As an actor in ‘Stand-Up’ I had zero control over how many people came to see my show. I could do my best to attempt a great review, but even then… what the hell do critics know? So REALLY, TRULY, and HONESTLY: I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THE ATTENDANCE RECORD!!! I was humble, I was gracious in congratulating everyone who “just let me know” that ‘Gypsy’ broke the record. Shaking hands, letting individuals know how much I enjoyed his/her performance. Nobody wanted to hear it. Then there was the straw. You know the one. The one that breaks the camel’s back. He was about the 30th person who felt the need to let me know. This dude places his arm around my shoulders, and says, “So, Mikol… How’s it feel to get toppled?” I looked at his hand on my opposite shoulder with the ‘are you seriously touching me?’ look, turned my head, looked him square in the face, and I go, “Who the f*** are you?” This dude was squirming. He uncomfortably took his hand off my shoulder, took a half-step back, smiled (oh, but how uncomfortably), extended his hand, and says, “We’ve actually met. You were… and I, but maybe you don’t… I was in… It’s cool if you don’t remember me.” The whole time I’m just mad-dogging him, not saying a word, just staring him down, his hand just hovering between us. After about 5 full seconds of complete silence, I gave him the “are you still F-ing in front of me” shrug. With one sentence, a pissed of face, and a shrug I had just kicked the crap out of this dude. He sulked off with his proverbial tail between his legs, head down, probably crying. Then it hit me… I had met this guy. Not only that, but he was pretty cool. I felt like an ass. To top things off, my mother and wife witnessed this episode. They proceeded to let me know how much of an ass I actually was. This is where you come in. I’d like to hear your point-of-view of a time when I embarrassed you or myself. Or when I did something stupid, but was too drunk to remember. I’m throwing myself a “BLOG ROAST” and you’re all invited as guest hosts. Be gentle.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

REmember that time when we were at a car show and making fun of all the white trash people there? We were meeting my father in law and as he was walking towards us you said, Hey, check out this dork. My reply, Yep, that's my father in law.

10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember that time when you thought Ford Escorts could fly and do flips??

10:37 PM  
Blogger Mikol said...

In my defense... Your father-in-law was bald up top, but had a ponytail to his shoulders. He was also sporting a brown leather jacket w/ elastic cuffs. Besides, you could've said, "Here comes his dad", or "there's his dad". I mean c'mon... Tell me you wouldn't have made fun of him if he was just some random guy. That was embarrassing, though.

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to clarify, it was a members only jacket!!!! And why let you off on that one? I saw it coming and knew something was coming out of your mouth. Besides, that was the biggest laugh of the night and we can still laugh about it along with "I got a knife you bitch!"

9:12 PM  
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6:59 AM  

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